PseudoNeoPostModernism

Just because you’re a drama queen doesn’t mean that you get to wear a crown. Just by being a drama queen you can’t call yourself royalty.

I’m an understanding person. Really. At some points in disagreements and arguments and such, I try to understand the people with which I’m having them and understand why they may have their different points of view. I try to understand people that do harm to others just because they were hurt in the same way by someone else. And most of the time, I do understand them even if I disagree and judge. But some people are beyond my ability to forgive and relate to. The type of person who is manic-depressive by nature combined with a dab of stubborness and repressed frustrations, who cannot be helped and sees any intention of aid from the outside as either a futile attempt or an aggression against their personality, who gets burnt by people that eventually manage to control him or her entirely and then they take it out on the very ones that tried to cheer them up and prevent them from suffering in the first place. (more…)

The car’s on fire and there’s no driver at the wheel And the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides And a dark wind blows The government is corrupt And we’re on so many drugs With the radio on and the curtains drawn I said, “Kiss me, you’re beautiful… These are truly the last days” You grabbed my hand and we fell into it Like a daydream or a fever We woke up one morning and fell a little further down For sure it’s the valley of death I open up my wallet And it’s full of blood We’re trapped in the belly of this horrible machine And the machine is bleeding to death The sun has fallen down And the billboards are all leering And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles.

I love Saturday mornings when there’s nothing to do except sleeping in and making breakfast. It’s partly cloudy outside and the sunlight looks like it’s being filtered through silk stockings. Godspeed You! Black Emperor playing loudly and burnt toast would be a good summary of the first few hours of my official weekend. Despite feeling mostly at peace, I’m torn emotionally. And I’m not being emo. I’m just stating how in dissaray my personal life is. I can cope though. I think.

In other news, I’m starting driving school on the 16th. I can’t wait. I’ve been dreaming of driving for a long time. Stay tuned.

To aspire, to break the rules, to love ourselves and those around us, to challenge, to provoke, to nurture, to destroy, to enjoy, to live, to dream, to dare, to do, to persevere, to hope, to care, to offend, to forgive, to be. To be passionate, to be thoughtful, to be playful, to be frustrated, to be bored, to be creative, to be afraid, to be alone, to be popular, to be curious, to be arrogant, to be ignorant, to be foolish, to be intelligent, to be in love, to be dissapointed, to be naive, to be defensive, to be weak, to be sick, to be tired, to be excited, to be hungry, to be drunk, to be addicted, to be free, to be absolved. To be human. To be happy.

O piesa care ma binedispune mult de tot si anume un cover genial, Obadiah Parker – Hey ya, mult mai soulful decat originalul.

Ma enerveaza momentele de genul asta; fix atunci cand nu am chef sa ies din casa, cand vreau sa stau sa citesc, sa ascult muzica si sa vegetez in pat alaturi de o gramada imensa de junk food, fix atunci cand simt ca nu am energie sa pot iesi in lume si sa interactionez cu semenii mei, fix atunci trebuie sa trebuie sa fac tot ce am enumerat mai devreme. Pe scurt, azi nu vreau sa fac nimic si totusi trebuie sa fac multe. Si ghici ce: e de-abia marti.

Imi place sa ma gandesc la momentul in care voi pleca din Tulcea din ce in ce mai mult. Simt ca nu mi-a mai ramas nimic de facut aici desi probabil ca nu e neaparat asa, dar tot farmecul acestui oras a disparut pentru mine. Stiu ca la un moment dat o sa-mi fie dor de strazile inguste si aglomerate, de blocurile colorate din centru, de Istru, de Bolta, de faleza, de Diana si Piata Civica, de banca in care stau de patru ani de zile la scoala, de toate figurile cunoscute pe care le vad aproape zilnic in crasme si magazine, dar momentan mor de nerabdare sa scap de ele. O parte din mine nu vrea sa creasca, sa plece, sa fie pe cont propriu intr-un oras care practic inghite sufletele locuitorilor lui, dar o alta parte din mine ma impinge exact in directia asta. Independent de ce vreau eu insa, timpul trece si imi dau seama cat de frica imi e de momentul in care nu voi mai avea timp sa ma gandesc si va trebui sa actionez.

Nu prea ai despre ce sa scrii pe blog atunci cand iti petreci 6 ore la scoala, o ora mancand, jumatate de ora conversand pe messenger si apoi urmatoarele n ore dormind. Motiv pentru care scriu doar ca sa afirm ca ma bag iar in pat pentru o sesiune de brain-numbing TV watching, ceva ce n-am mai facut de mult. Adieu.

Autogara Tulcea. Asteptand mai mult de o ora microbuzul cu bagajele mele pe care nu am avut timp sa le iau din Bucuresti fara sa pierd masina de 17:30, m-am imprietenit cu locatarii permanenti ai autogarii, ale caror figuri mi s-au parut mult mai inteligente decat a oamenilor din jur.

Pentru ca am tot povestit unora si altora despre acel om pe care il admir foarte mult pentru actiunile sale, iata si linkul catre aventurile cu vecinul manelist. God bless the wicked!